December 2009
24 posts
Haiku dedicated to the middle aged Scot' at U...
It’s hard to be a Liverpool Hooligan when no one in here cares
The Greatest Arguments!
My favorite arguments are those with no result other than the most peculiar feeling of simultaneous enlightenment and irrelevance.
“St. Cloud is only good for ‘dazed and ill-prepared college...”
– Dave Gillmartin “The Absolutely Worst Places to Live in America”
Don't Spread My Wealth, Spread My Work Ethic...
is a somewhat humorous bumper sticker to have when your groceries are being loaded up by the bag boy.
“So did you spend your holiday in Wilmar building that turkey research facility?”
– My boss, and the wonders of working at a upper midwestern public research university.
In spite of own incompetence, man completes rubiks... →
“How about introducing the FUCKING METRIC SYSTEM in the USA…. It’s...”
– Commentary gold from the University of Minnesota’s Physics of Football video. Note: spelling errors have been corrected
The Major Motion Picture Avatar in summary, in...
The greatest surprise? I didn’t regret spending eleven fifty.
I am the Official Poet Laureate of Angry Thursday
It’s angry thursday, officially, because I’m full of anger.
A Haiku discussing proper weight lifting safety
Bro, use the collars. Don’t drop plates all over when you’re getting swole, man.
The Chinatown Bus, by Bishop Allen, from The... →
“Watched a sidewalk butcher, his instinctive understanding made the carcass snap and clarify beneath his nimble hand that held the knife so long, so many times, the handles’ changed to shapes just like his fingers and his palms…”
I enjoy this song, and of course, this verse.
Haiku pertaining to the film Ghost Rider
You know what is bad? The feature film ghost rider. I know, big surprise.
Twilight is, in many ways, a coming of age story.
A woman, just barely understanding herself, is forced to choose…
Will I do it with a dog?
Or will I do it with a corpse?
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is...
Conversely, the only thing more awkward than being in a steam room full of naked men, is being the only one with a towel on.
Mad Haiku: The Road Warrior
A boy and his dog and his 78 Ford Falcon. Single sleeved, shoulder pad.
I don't like Sudoku
I don’t like sudoku because I feel like it’s crosswords for robots. Someone once told me though, that they didn’t like it because they thought it was repetitive. That it always was the same numbers over and over again. I may not like sudoku but that seems a bit of a stretch. That’s like saying you don’t like crosswords because it’s just the same 26 letters over...